  |  | Join Date: Aug 2006 | Posts: 33 | Location: U.A.E. |
How To Be A Loser
The Needed Requirements/Equipment For Being A Loser are As Follows:
A Computer (A Losers Best Friend)
A TV (A Losers Best Friend To Being Fat)
Time (Yes, Or Else You're Not Consider A Loser You Poser!)
Some Food (Do You Want To Die A Wannabe Loser? Then Get Food You Lazy Bone, But The Preferred Loser Foods Are: Chips, Soda, Take-Out Food, And Anything You Can Find Under Your Mothers Drawers And Cubburds (Can't Spell it Loser, But You Get The Point)
Your Own Room (Dont Want To Get Caught Strangling That Python Your Mother Is Afraid Of, Do You? Then Get Your Own Room Or Just Make A Box Surrounding Your "Loser" Living Space That Works As Well From Experience)
No Job (Yes Being A Loser Means You Don't Have To Have A Job, Isn't This The Best Career Out There Yet? Plus You Don't Need Experience)
Internet Connection (If You Dont Have This You're Considered Wasting Space In Your Mother's Home While Being A Loser, But Then Again This Is A Losers Playground Where He Will See Vaginas And Penis For The Very First Time In His Life. Don't Be Shocked If Your Mom Spots You Giggling At A Vagina For Your First Time Or Even With One Hand Down Your Pants)
Typing Skills (You'll Need Moderate Typing Skills To Be A Good Loser, But If You Have Extremely Fast Typing Skills Then You're A Professional Loser Meaning You're Superbly A Loser By Nature Or Birth. This Is A Needed Requirement When Going From Porn Site To Porn Sites Typing With Eyes Locked Onto Those Jugs Or Anything Guilty You Like)
Fast Internet Connection (If You Have This And Also All The Above Requirements Then You're Considered A Much Bigger Loser Than you are)
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder, Or Whatever That Means. This Means You'll Need A Zone, A Zone Where You Can Just ADD'ed Off And Be A Loser For Life. Your "Loser" Zone Consists Of: Yourself)
Onward To The Actual Steps Of Being A Loser,
Step 1:
Drop Out Of School, Preferrably College, Because By Then People Will See What A Loser You Are. Don't Find A Job, Just Live On Your Parents Income And Food As Long As You Can. Having A Job Means You're Breaking The "Loser" Rule #1: Jobs Are For Wannabe Losers. Have On Some Old Sweat Pants And A Ragged Out T-Shirt, But For Those Fashionable Losers A Cap Is Good Enough.
Step 2:
Get Your Own Room, Yes This Is The Best Requirement Thus Far, Or At Least Share One With Someone That Is Rarely Home. Set-Up Your Computer And TV And Game Station In A Space Somewhere Near A Closet Or A Big Opening Door. That Way When Someone Emerges Without You Noticing And Therefore Giving You The Shock Of Your Life You Can Quickly Jump Into The Opening And Hide For The Hour Until They Are Gone. Find Your Zone, Meaning Get Everything Out Of Your Head When On The "Training" Of Being A Loser. That Means Getting Your Mom Out Of Your Head Even When She's Holding A BIG Butcher Knife Right Next To Your Face (I Lied, Dont Ignore, Better Yet Run And Cry Like A Baby).
Step 3:
Getting An Internet Connection. This Is Simple, Get One That You Can Use For A Cheap Price Seeing You ARE A Loser After All. Or If You're A Fortunate Loser You Can Ask Your Parents To Suffice A Couple Of Bucks A Month For You To Be Loser As Your Career. Tell Your Parents It's For A Good Cause, The Cause That Their Son Will Become A Loser Unknownst To Public, His Parents But Himself With The Reason That It's For His So-Called "Day Job" He's Working On. That Way Your Parents Will Be Proud That They Are Paying A Monthly Internet Bill For Their Bill Gate Hopeful Son.
Step 4:
You Will Need A Lot Of Food And Tissues. Why Tissues? Because You Will Be Crying Of Course . Always Carry Your Food To Your Loser Destination Before Starting Any Loser Activity, If You Start Before Bringing Food Then You'll Surely Drown In Your Own Guilty Pleasures And Die Of Hunger. So Get Food, Food Is Friend. Your Door Is Bolted Shut With Systematic State Of The Art Alarms And Locks, Right? NOT! Only IF You'd Had Everything Your Way It Would Be. So Therefore Prepare A Chair, A Bat Or Something "Hittable" Of That Nature Incase Intruders Invade Your "Loser" Zone. Invading A Losers Zone Is A Sin, And Sinners Must Be Punished. IF It's Your Mom Then You Can Greet Her With A One Handed Hug Or Give Her A Tissue Because She Seems So Sad.
Step 5:
Going Online And Now You're Addicted, But Your Typing Speed Is So Slow. What Can You Do To Improve This You Ask? We'll As All Present Losers Know You Can Improve Your Typing Skill By Just Typing Of Course. First It Will Be The Chicken Pecks...Soon The Two Hungry Chicken Pecks. Then The Third And Almost Last Stage Is The Puppeteer Typing Style Where You Pretend Like You Know How To Type But Still You Are Looking At The Keyboad Keys. You Are An Ignorant Fool You Ask Yourself, Yes. You Are In Your "Loser" Zone So Therefore You Are Considered Ignorant For The Time Being.
Step 6:
Great Attractions, This Is The Root Of All "Loserness". Porn, Yeah...We Know, But What Else Is There? Find Yourself A Place Where You Belong, A Place Where They Know How You Are Unlike Those stupids In The Real World. You Can Get Into Web Page Making, Meaning You Can Conduct Your Own Porn Website, How Cool Is That Now? But Best Yet, Find A Place, A Place You're Always On Actively...But Not Sexually Active On. When All Else Fails Just Pop In That DVD You Got From That Porn Site You Just Visited And Start Crying.
Those Are The Mini Six Step To Becoming A Loser.
If You Are Not Considered A Loser At This Point, Go Find A Job You Poser!
This Is Not A Guide Nor A "How-To", This Is Just For Fun So Don't Take It Seriously And Become A Loser. I Don't Hold Any Responsibilities If You Missed One Of These Steps And Happen To Get Caught Cleaning Your Dirtyness. And Don't Sue Me If You Loser Money Or Conciousness For All The Hot Babes On The Net World.
Losing Out, Your Author, Anonymous
Application Kill
A Computer (A Losers Best Friend)
A TV (A Losers Best Friend To Being Fat)
Time (Yes, Or Else You're Not Consider A Loser You Poser!)
Some Food (Do You Want To Die A Wannabe Loser? Then Get Food You Lazy Bone, But The Preferred Loser Foods Are: Chips, Soda, Take-Out Food, And Anything You Can Find Under Your Mothers Drawers And Cubburds (Can't Spell it Loser, But You Get The Point)
Your Own Room (Dont Want To Get Caught Strangling That Python Your Mother Is Afraid Of, Do You? Then Get Your Own Room Or Just Make A Box Surrounding Your "Loser" Living Space That Works As Well From Experience)
No Job (Yes Being A Loser Means You Don't Have To Have A Job, Isn't This The Best Career Out There Yet? Plus You Don't Need Experience)
Internet Connection (If You Dont Have This You're Considered Wasting Space In Your Mother's Home While Being A Loser, But Then Again This Is A Losers Playground Where He Will See Vaginas And Penis For The Very First Time In His Life. Don't Be Shocked If Your Mom Spots You Giggling At A Vagina For Your First Time Or Even With One Hand Down Your Pants)
Typing Skills (You'll Need Moderate Typing Skills To Be A Good Loser, But If You Have Extremely Fast Typing Skills Then You're A Professional Loser Meaning You're Superbly A Loser By Nature Or Birth. This Is A Needed Requirement When Going From Porn Site To Porn Sites Typing With Eyes Locked Onto Those Jugs Or Anything Guilty You Like)
Fast Internet Connection (If You Have This And Also All The Above Requirements Then You're Considered A Much Bigger Loser Than you are)
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder, Or Whatever That Means. This Means You'll Need A Zone, A Zone Where You Can Just ADD'ed Off And Be A Loser For Life. Your "Loser" Zone Consists Of: Yourself)
Onward To The Actual Steps Of Being A Loser,
Step 1:
Drop Out Of School, Preferrably College, Because By Then People Will See What A Loser You Are. Don't Find A Job, Just Live On Your Parents Income And Food As Long As You Can. Having A Job Means You're Breaking The "Loser" Rule #1: Jobs Are For Wannabe Losers. Have On Some Old Sweat Pants And A Ragged Out T-Shirt, But For Those Fashionable Losers A Cap Is Good Enough.
Step 2:
Get Your Own Room, Yes This Is The Best Requirement Thus Far, Or At Least Share One With Someone That Is Rarely Home. Set-Up Your Computer And TV And Game Station In A Space Somewhere Near A Closet Or A Big Opening Door. That Way When Someone Emerges Without You Noticing And Therefore Giving You The Shock Of Your Life You Can Quickly Jump Into The Opening And Hide For The Hour Until They Are Gone. Find Your Zone, Meaning Get Everything Out Of Your Head When On The "Training" Of Being A Loser. That Means Getting Your Mom Out Of Your Head Even When She's Holding A BIG Butcher Knife Right Next To Your Face (I Lied, Dont Ignore, Better Yet Run And Cry Like A Baby).
Step 3:
Getting An Internet Connection. This Is Simple, Get One That You Can Use For A Cheap Price Seeing You ARE A Loser After All. Or If You're A Fortunate Loser You Can Ask Your Parents To Suffice A Couple Of Bucks A Month For You To Be Loser As Your Career. Tell Your Parents It's For A Good Cause, The Cause That Their Son Will Become A Loser Unknownst To Public, His Parents But Himself With The Reason That It's For His So-Called "Day Job" He's Working On. That Way Your Parents Will Be Proud That They Are Paying A Monthly Internet Bill For Their Bill Gate Hopeful Son.
Step 4:
You Will Need A Lot Of Food And Tissues. Why Tissues? Because You Will Be Crying Of Course . Always Carry Your Food To Your Loser Destination Before Starting Any Loser Activity, If You Start Before Bringing Food Then You'll Surely Drown In Your Own Guilty Pleasures And Die Of Hunger. So Get Food, Food Is Friend. Your Door Is Bolted Shut With Systematic State Of The Art Alarms And Locks, Right? NOT! Only IF You'd Had Everything Your Way It Would Be. So Therefore Prepare A Chair, A Bat Or Something "Hittable" Of That Nature Incase Intruders Invade Your "Loser" Zone. Invading A Losers Zone Is A Sin, And Sinners Must Be Punished. IF It's Your Mom Then You Can Greet Her With A One Handed Hug Or Give Her A Tissue Because She Seems So Sad.
Step 5:
Going Online And Now You're Addicted, But Your Typing Speed Is So Slow. What Can You Do To Improve This You Ask? We'll As All Present Losers Know You Can Improve Your Typing Skill By Just Typing Of Course. First It Will Be The Chicken Pecks...Soon The Two Hungry Chicken Pecks. Then The Third And Almost Last Stage Is The Puppeteer Typing Style Where You Pretend Like You Know How To Type But Still You Are Looking At The Keyboad Keys. You Are An Ignorant Fool You Ask Yourself, Yes. You Are In Your "Loser" Zone So Therefore You Are Considered Ignorant For The Time Being.
Step 6:
Great Attractions, This Is The Root Of All "Loserness". Porn, Yeah...We Know, But What Else Is There? Find Yourself A Place Where You Belong, A Place Where They Know How You Are Unlike Those stupids In The Real World. You Can Get Into Web Page Making, Meaning You Can Conduct Your Own Porn Website, How Cool Is That Now? But Best Yet, Find A Place, A Place You're Always On Actively...But Not Sexually Active On. When All Else Fails Just Pop In That DVD You Got From That Porn Site You Just Visited And Start Crying.
Those Are The Mini Six Step To Becoming A Loser.
If You Are Not Considered A Loser At This Point, Go Find A Job You Poser!
This Is Not A Guide Nor A "How-To", This Is Just For Fun So Don't Take It Seriously And Become A Loser. I Don't Hold Any Responsibilities If You Missed One Of These Steps And Happen To Get Caught Cleaning Your Dirtyness. And Don't Sue Me If You Loser Money Or Conciousness For All The Hot Babes On The Net World.
Losing Out, Your Author, Anonymous
Application Kill
wooohooo 
Linear Mode
